and now there is a little one in my belly. they say she is a girl. i turn to see another woman, with a teenaged daughter, how can it be that this could turn into me? that i could be given another life, a complex and demanding and loving living life? she kicks. every kick is a miracle. and i don't believe in miracles. but she is one, really. she is bigger than me. she already has overcome everything that i have overcome. she struggled against her own impossibility. do i tell her where she was made? that she is made from science? she kicks again. --- i used to not be afraid of dying. but with her inside of me... god, life can be so fucking scary. --- with her inside of me nothing else matters --- but we are all still a bit too afraid to celebrate just yet. mum tiptoes around her own excitement, keeping it it check, afraid she will upset me. i have never been happier in my life.